Beating the Holiday Blues
Well it is that time of year again when we all start preparing for our big turkey dinner and gift wrapping. The holiday season with its scrumptious food and tokens of love brings out the best in many of us, but for millions it is a time of excrutiating sadness. What factors cause this sadness and what can we do about it?

Unrealistic Expectations
Our quest for the perfect holidays often leaves us feeling cheated.
I have the fondest of holiday memories as a child. There was more than enough food, family came from near and far to share in good eating, singing and sharing of our history and current events.

At Christmas time there was a bounty of gifts surrounding the tree. Our home was trimmed inside with my mothers special touch. My brothers made certain the lights were strung across the front porch to shine through the night. It was the Christmases of Norman Rockwell and The Andy Griffith Show and The Brady Bunch. The Jeffersons were movin on up.

I imagine many people have fond child hood memories of Thanksgiving and Christmas much like my own. Cherished memories we wish we could recreate. We want the perfect gifts to give, the perfect food to serve, host the perfect party, be invited to the party with the in crowd. We want to splurge on our children and receive a gift from our significant other that says "I really love you."- and we want that person to read our mind and know exactly what that gift is! We expect our holiday to be just like the ones of those cherished past times or better! So we set ourselves up for disappointment.

Over Commercialization
The past is the past. People are busier. The simplicity that was is no longer. Thanksgiving is more of a blip on the calendar than a day of gratefulness, just the pre-emption for the Big Day, no not Christmas, black Friday. The shoppers holiday.

You are expected to have the best lights on your shrubs and your house. Fake snow in a globe, a dancing Santa. You need a designer Christmas tree that matches the fabric of your furniture. You have to make an appointment for your child to take a photo with Santa at an exclusive shopping mall. Your kid can't take a picture with any old Santa. If your black you better get one with Kente Santa too and tell your kid he's the real one!

It's a race to wait in long lines to get that toy every child wants. If you are a good parent you may have ordered ahead of time or slipped the clerk a $50 dollar bill to make sure he sits one aside just for you.

Nobody says Merry Christmas its not politically correct. There are more SpongeBob, TinkerBell, and Disney/Pixar dolls and paraphernalia on the shelves than nativity figurines. There are even upside down Christmas trees because it looks cool that way. Says who? Bells dangle from womens ears and necks and wrists and dogs are dressed up like reindeer. People get the hook up at the toy store paying cents on the dollar, or slip that clerk at the sneaker store a bigger buck and get your Jordans for free. Womens purses get snatched, cars and homes are burglarized so that some lost soul can give your gifts to their family.

Does anybody even remember this guy named Jesus? Pretty sad.

The Loss of a Love & Loneliness
While all of this is going on there are people whose hearts are broken. People who are dreading the holiday season. People who are reminded of a deceased loved one, people who are alone. Broken marriages, and loveless marriages. Children who have gone astray. Someone just got dumped. Folks without friendships.

Financial Burden & Stress
Feeling obligated to give gifts to your boss, your co-workers, your childs teacher, the babysitter, the post man, your manicurist and hairstylist as well as your immediate and extended family causes many to over extend themselves financially. Instead of starting the new year out with a positive perspective, worry over the incoming credit card bills or depletion of your cash funds can cause major stress. Many people will experience insomnia, extreme irritability, over eating and weight gain. Some will even abuse alcohol and drugs to cope.

So what should we do?
Holiday depression is real. Those people who already suffer from mild to severe depression may become worse. Many who are well throughout most of the year will only experience this overwhelming sadness during the holiday season. If you are suffering, try these tips to turn things around:

• Don't get caught up in the hype. Define what the holidays mean to you and plan your activities accordingly. Limit your expectations for those activities and don't over extend yourself.
• Don't get lost in re evaluating your life and past mistakes. Do live in the present. Think about all the things that are going right in your life. Make lists of your blessings and tell those who have been a blessing to you over the past year.
• Volunteer. Feed the homeless or go sing caroles to seniors in nursing homes or assisted living centers. Help centers decorate. Read a holiday favorite book to your childs class. Sit in for a teacher during lunch and let her/him have some free time.
• Start a new family tradition. Create your own tree decorations, or visit a shelter for the homeless or battered. Visit veterans or children in the hospital. Play Secret Santa with simple dollar store gifts to your neighbors or a lower income neighborhood. Leave the gifts on the front step or the porch on Christmas Eve, or better yet knock on the door and introduce yourself.
• Take a holiday vacation. Make new memories by getting away to do something different over the holiday season. Go to a beach, ski, rent a cabin. Visit some of the cities recovering from Katrina and spend your money their to help rebuild their communities, or as a family lend a helping hand.
• Make a holiday food basket for a needy family or take them grocery shopping.
• Look up a long lost friend or relative and reconnect.
• Take out old photos of those who have passed away and share your favorite stories with other family members.
• Avoid excessive drinking and eating which will only increase your depression and make you feel sluggish.
• Participate or attend a spiritual program of your faith.
• Make time for yourself.
• Look forward to your future. Make an effort to think optimistically about the coming year.

If you don't suffer from the holiday blues and you know someone who is, take the time to reach out to them and be supportive.

That's melavision. What's yours?