The View

Are any of you readers out there checking out ABC's The View? With all of the controversy surrounding Rosie O'Donnell from last season, it looked as if the producers and Barbara Walters wanted to present a gentler more friendly version of the show for their 11th season.

Well what a surprise! The addition of Whoopie Goldberg and Sherri Shepherd is proving to be a little more feisty than not. I personally questioned the hiring of Ms Shepherd who in all of her guest appearances seemed a little out of place with the other members of the show.

Yes she could be engaging and humorous but in a buffoon kind of way. Seemingly sweet but a bit inept. I was miffed at producers and Barbara for sending out this image to America of what a black woman's view is. Of course Sherri cannot be representative of all of black women. Certainly Whoopie whose sheer genius in handling both her co-hostesses and guests, shows a strength and intelligence worthy of exposure and does balance things out.

Still, I think it was the producers who have used Ms Shepherd to portray the chubby, loud and gregarious non threatening ideal of what a black woman should be. Even Whoopie with her non conformist sense of style and beauty appears non threatening to the primarily white female audience. The viewers can admire her intelligence and even fall in love with her without feeling less than because she isn't their idea of attractive. The Oprah effect. The black girl friend who is smart and insightful but you aren't threatened or envious of her looks.

It was obvious that Star Jones was the original Sherri Shepherd role. She was over weight and over bearing at times. She was smart and could be funny, but that bigger than life and bigger body helped the viewers see her either as someone not to take too seriously or more of the mama figure. Once she lost the weight and that image, she was no longer tolerable.

The joke is on Ms Walters and her producers though. Star is doing fabulous with her own Court TV show and I have the feeling the feuding between Whoopie and Sherri is only getting started. Though I am certain that Ms Goldberg will only allow it to go so far on the air.

Whoopie has a dignity about herself and her people that will not share the set with ignorance. And I am not bashing Sherri. She is a good comedic actress. She is a delightful person and she does represent a certain demographic of Americans, just not the demographic watching the View. If she doesn't open herself up to the wisdom of Whoopie I believe the producers are going to experience a tension and discomfort on the set not previously experienced before.

Maybe the joke is on me. The lines between Rosie and Elizabeth were clear and it was easy for the viewers of the show to pick a side. Maybe the producers are smarter than I think and want it to be clearly seen that the stereotype of black women not getting along with one another is true.

Maybe there is no racial consideration here at all. Not overtly intended anyway. Just white folks and black folks acting and reacting as we have been over the history of our relationship with one another. Clearly learned behavior that many times we are unaware we are practicing.

I know I'll be watching The View. If you haven' tuned in, do so and let me know what you think.

That's melavision. What's yours?

It's hump day!
Half way through the work week for those of you doing the 9 to 5. With droughts and wildfires and melting glaciers I think we need to take a good green look at ourselves. Check me out in a few days for my blog on how each of us can help to heal mother earth.

Today I want to talk about a party I went to over the weekend. It was a girls night only party, organized by some sassy 30 something women. It was a great idea and the turn out was very good, however the execution was horrible.

Since I simply adore planning events and have thought about hosting a few of these naughty parties myself, I have a few things to say.

I think it is a good idea to add variety to your monogamous relationship. Whatever works for you is your business. I do believe however that there are definite parameters between what is sexy, fun and sensual and what is vulgar. I gotta little freak in me, so if I think it is vulgar you can bet it is. Ladies please, don't accept anything in the name of being sexy.

If you are 2 to 4 hundred pounds, you really shouldn't wear something skimpy. Men are extremely visual and unless they are really in to rolls and cellulite.....well, you may get disappointed. Now there is sensual lingerie available for the plus size woman ( I ain't hatin' cause in the past 10 years I have turned in to one) but show off your best assets and keep the rest of them covered. Even for you skinny bitches, its cool to leave something for the imagination. Remember soft lighting makes everything look better.

If you are going to purchase toys, yes toys. Unless you have been in the adult film business, don't buy something that looks like a horse! I might add that these things are to keep you sated when your man isn't in the mood, or to help him get in the mood if he's one that likes to watch. Your toy should NOT become your companion. Even if you are single! They can become addictive if you allow it.

Edibles are fun. Lotions, lubricating gels and the such, but you must be clean. Wash before and AFTER if you don't plan on purchasing monistat a day or so later. And it is never okay at the parties to use the same application on all the participants to sample. That's just nasty and one of our hostesses offended this way at the party I attended over the weekend. YUK!

If you are going to host one of these parties for your friends, or charge a fee for extra talent and instructions.....and you sell tickets and send out fliers about all the food and beverages you can eat and drink.....Try catering unless you are a chef or you know you can burn in the kitchen. Make sure your closest friends and family think you can burn in the kitchen too...it just can't be your opinion. I suggest catering, make your guests or patrons excited about attending another one of your functions.

Make sure as the hostess you are ready, set up and greeting your guests at the scheduled time. I have offended with this plenty of times and its so unattractive, not to mention rude. I'm working on that though. Even if it is your girl friends, treat it like your job. If you were hosting an event for your boss, he/she wouldn't allow you to run an hour or two behind so don't do it to the people you love or are taking money from.

Lastly, if you decide to have some male talent available for a little extra fun. Keep it sexy and not raunchy. Make sure you have a discussion with the talent to set your expectations and what is and is not permissible. Unless you are a swinger or a voyeur (which most in attendance won't be) nobody wants to look at someone simulate sex on another woman or have is member in their face, no matter how delectable it may be. Now that is vulgar.

The purpose of these parties is for the ladies who are more adventurous to help those who are more timid to come out of their shells and explore their sexuality. We will never get what we want out of our men if we don't know what we like. It is always good to share tips and secrets about how to get the most pleasure out of your love making, but please don't describe the intimate details of your partners genitalia etc.
If you do, don't be surprised if one of the ladies is giving your guy the goo goo eyes the next time she is over for tea.

Finally, making love is the ultimate gift one can give to another and it is a spiritually binding connection. I know the world might want you to believe that its just animal attraction... But there isn't a woman alive who in her quiet moments, doesn't think about the men she has bedded and wished she had not slept with at least one of them on her short or long list, because he wasn't worthy.


That's melavision. What's yours?

Obsessed With Cheating

Happy Monday readers! Here in drought ridden Georgia I am elated to see some rain. Every little bit helps.

Last night I decided to check out Michael Baisden After Dark and just like the first show I tuned in to, and almost every radio show I tuned in to, he continued to discuss cheating. Why men cheat and why it is women's fault.

First of all, it's a myth that ALL men cheat. There are a lot of men who don't cheat. They don't cheat on their girlfriends, they don't cheat on their wives, they don't cheat on tests or taxes. It simply is not in their character to cheat. I don't know many of these men, but they are out there.

Secondly, I think Mr Baisden is so obsessed with cheating because he cannot figure out why HE cannot stay faithful in a relationship. In order to make himself feel better about his short comings, he wants to pin it on all men and make women to blame for it!

I think it is natural to be attracted to multiple people. God wired us for that. It is necessary for procreation. For instance, if we were only attracted to one person in a life time and our mate experienced an untimely death and there were no children, the surviving mate would be left without the ability to procreate.

So while I believe it is perfectly natural to desire others I don't believe it is unnatural to be monogamous. If promiscuity in humans were natural, even an evolutionist would have to agree that the body should not be susceptible to sexually transmitted disease. Our immune systems should have evolved to the point where we could share multiple partners.

In the animal kingdom there are several species that are totally monogamous, but scientifically speaking, it pays to be promiscuous to continue the existence of the species. Not coincidentally, animals do not contract sexual diseases from one another.

Social environment has played more a role in cheating and promiscuity in humans than biology. We were given that extra something that other species do not have. Free will. The ability to reason. To make decisions. We don't have to act out on our biological receptors.

Cheating is easy. It's lazy. I dare say immature. It is easy to be charming and romantic and spontaneous without responsibilities. Share a mortgage, some children, your dirty stinkin drawers with that other woman. Sooner or later a man will be having those same difficult moments with that clean up woman that he was having with his wife, live in lady.... whatever he calls her.

Michael Baisden declared numbers alone indicate that women have to share. Not so. It is true that women out number men. But you will always have those women and men that choose not to partner in life. Loners for whatever reason. Factor in homosexuality. The many women who are partnering with other women. That still leaves plenty of men available for monogamous relationships and black women especially are trying something new. Dating and partnering outside of their race. Don't believe the hype about numbers.

Monogamous couples can use their natural attraction to others to kick up the romance between themselves. There is no harm in knowing that other people find you sexy and desirable. I believe a little flirting is even good with boundaries. Who wants somebody that nobody else wants? Honestly. Using the knowledge that all the ladies in the room want your man and he is going home with you makes you the baddest bitch in the room! The same goes for men. If all the men in the room want your lady and you are taking her home, must mean you got that whip appeal! There are many ways to use your attraction to others as foreplay for great sex with your exclusive mate. That's another blog on another day.

So while the Mr Baisden's of the world continue to find excuses to cheat, let us men and woman who celebrate and practice monogamy stick together and let our voice be heard.

P.S.
Kudos to Mr George Wilson(on the show) who stood up for monogamous men and why men DONT cheat!

That's melavision. What's yours?

Holiday Planning

I write on the web site called Helium and there was a debate proposed on Christmas. The question was asked whether or not Christians will ever be able to reclaim Christmas as a Christian holiday.

I took some time to ponder this. Like many Christians I am frustrated with the commercialization of Christmas and how it is starting to blend in to all of the other holidays. I mean, people decorate their homes with lights for Halloween now. In fact, last year it was estimated that Americans would spend over 5 billion dollars on Halloween decorations. This figure is second only to Christmas.

So can we reclaim Christmas? I don't think Christians have ever lost the holiday and what we can do to spread the true meaning of Christmas, is to share the love and hope of Christ.

As you plan for this year's holiday season, Thanksgiving and Christmas, I challenge my readers to broaden your vision past your own family and reach out to another family.

This Thanksgiving my immediate family, along with my mother, sister, niece and cousins will select a needy family with the assistance of the counseling department at our local elementary school and provide them with a complete Thanksgiving meal. We will each contribute to a huge basket that will be presented to the family prior to the Thanksgiving school break. Included in the basket will be personal testimonies or words of encouragement with our favorite scripture to share the hope of Christ with the poor.

This Christmas, we will do the same thing along with gifts for all members of the family. In order for it to be a success, we have to start now. We aren't rich people, but we are rich with the love of Christ.

There will be no fan fare. No news coverage. No big posters with toy drives and boxes placed in offices or at doors of grocery stores. It will be just us, a few of Gods children sharing the good news and reason for the season, Jesus Christ!

I believe if every Christian family across the world will do this for another needy family, the hype and stress and elves and Santa's and folks who want to ban Merry Christmas and replace it with happy holidays won't stand a chance!

That's melavision. What's your's?

MR PERRY PLEASE!

Props to Tyler Perry for his latest film effort, "Why Did I Get Married". The girls and I checked it out this weekend and thoroughly enjoyed this movie. Apparently much of America did, as it's topping box office sales at 21.3M!

It was nice to see so many couples in the movie theatre. I was encouraged that men felt they might find something worthy in this film as well. I know I will be taking my man to see it.

In, "Why Did I Get Married", the roles were well defined and believable. If you didn't see yourself in one of the characters you saw someone you knew. The relationships high lighted in this film showed the importance of true friendship. It also gave a real glimpse of how marriages work, and why many fail. I was impressed with the complexity of each marriage relationship and how friendships are challenged among couples.

There were moments when we laughed, cried out in disbelief, shed tears and wanted to rewrite the scene to suit our individual wishes. But Tyler portrayed things how they are not how they should be.

If you are like me, you'll want to go back during the middle of the day while others are at work, so that you can hear all those scenes the other movie goes muted out with their laughter and comments.

It might stir up some uneasy emotions for you, but it is definitely worth the watch, and it just might remind those among the married why they stay in it for the long haul.

THINGS THAT MAKE YA WANNA HOLLAR

Blah Blah Blah Blaaahg

When I first found out about Blogger I was so excited. Finally my passion for writing had found a place where I could express my talent and possibly experience a following. I wrote to family and friends across the country and asked for their support. I got it too!

So why blah blah blaaahg? What makes me wanna hollar? Myself! If anyone out there can help me figure out why it is soooooo difficult to stay motivated let me know. Yeah I have life stresses and things get really overwhelming sometimes. But I bet there are hundreds of thousands of people just like me out there, stressed to their limit but still determined to stay on the grind for their dream.

What makes a winner a winner. Is it as simple as the Nike commercial...."Just do it"?

I wonder.

For all of you out there doin your thing....I have mad respect for you. Whatever it is...the fact that you are going after it is a talent in itself. You go!

So today I am going to try to recommit myself to this again. Practice my art...write.

I am sending off a book to publishing houses that I wrote after 9/11 when my then 3 year old grand daughter asked, what is an American.

I think 6 years later we are hated more across the world than ever and this book is as timely as ever.

It is titled, "American Like Me". The story of a young girl who discovers the beauty and wonder of herself and the diverse neighborhood she lives in.

Wish me luck, send me warm and positive thoughts and pray that I keep trying to just do it!