Mega Church Madness

Several years ago I was a proud member of World Changers International Church. Pastor Creflo Dollar was a charismatic, disciplined individual who opened up the bible and taught from it. He didn't spend a lot of time hoopin and hollarin. He just broke the word of God down, sometimes by the syllable, and illustrated how we could use the knowledge in our every day lives. He was a stickler for excellence and I appreciated that about him. If you wished to sing on the choir you had to audition. It was a ministry and expected to deliver excellent sound and inspirational lyrics to prepare the congregation for the presence of the Holy Spirit.

If you had need to use the bath room you were asked to quietly raise your hand and wait for an usher to escort you out. Chewing gum was prohibited in the sanctuary and you would be asked to remove it if you offended the rule. Children were provided separate quarters for child care and instruction to keep the sanctuary quiet, and conducive to receive the message. The sound techs and building maintenance and every individual associated with a ministry within the church was expected to perform with excellence. Your best for the Lord.

I auditioned for the choir and was selected to sing soprano. It was an awesome experience and one which I will never forget. I sang notes during my tenure on that choir that I had never uttered before. The power and energy from being in the 200 plus group of good and great singers was exhilarating. I felt very blessed to be serving in this way.

I left after 7 years as a member when things took a turn in another direction. The congregation was taking on a different spirit. It seemed that the new members coming in were drawn to the teachings of wealth and prosperity more than worship. Like God is here to serve us instead of the other way around.

I noticed as I got to know some of these people that many of them had similar back grounds of poor or underprivileged child hoods. They never imagined themselves in a better socio-economic situation. Suddenly there was a man they could relate to. He looked like them and came from the same kind of neighborhood. He had experienced want and now he was successful & wealthy and was neither an athlete nor entertainer. Creflo became their celebrity.

His teachings about prosperity and the blessings of being a follower of Jesus Christ were over shadowed by his congregations natural desire for material possessions. And somewhere a long the way kingdom ways meant you had to have the best of everything. Even for Creflo.

I had conflicts with some of Pastor Dollars teachings and ironically the very things he taught me in the beginning of my membership, were the same things that ultimately made me decide to move on. But I will never regret my time there and I will always hold Pastor Dollar dear in my heart. It was under his tutelage that I found the love for the scripture and a knowledge of the same that is now engraved in my heart.

Still, I understand why Senator Chuck Grassley and his cronies have issues with the lifestyles of these celebrated preachers. In these preachers' effort to show their congregations that you don't have to be a seeker of sin to experience the riches of wealth, they have taken on worldly ways. Some of their living is lavish, even extreme. But how do you reach the masses in this information society with glamor and fame shoved in our faces 24 hours a day? How do you reach the young woman aspiring to be like Paris and the young men holding rappers as their icons? Are they going to follow a Christ who says the best of things are only for the wicked? I don't think so...in fact I know they won't.

So somewhere their has to be a balance. An example of fine living that does not include extreme indulgence. Fine living not haughty living. Wealth but not fulfillment of all those things we covet. What do we covet? What we see. So maybe our preachers need to spend less time competing with the bad guys and more time saving them.

Yet,I am not comfortable with the notion that any group of folk can decide they want to do an inquest in to our churches and try to dictate how our church leaders should invest their resources, or what they should or should not own.

All men and women are subject to temptation and seduced by riches. Hence the scripture in Matt 19:23
Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.

I believe Christ said this because He knew a rich man could become distracted away from the things of God. Not only by fulfilling desires, but also with having to manage his/her wealth and maintain it, which almost always requires compromise. Compromise of your integrity, or your time and energy. It is extremely difficult to maintain holiness and money at the same time.

These preachers are people just like you and I. They have flaws and weaknesses, baggage from life's experiences, personal goals and desires. Imperfect. So let's not bash them. Rather let us pray, if they have strayed, Lord bring them back. Where they are lacking in teaching and wisdom, supply it to them. If they have taught falsely by omission or lack of understanding , enlighten. And finally if they are a wolf in sheep's clothing punish, and Lord protect the innocent who are following in blind faith.

How can a man hate his own flesh? The division in the body of Christ, (the church) is madness. Stop the madness people. In the words of that good ole time religion, "We will understand it better by and by".

That's melavision. What's yours?

The View

Are any of you readers out there checking out ABC's The View? With all of the controversy surrounding Rosie O'Donnell from last season, it looked as if the producers and Barbara Walters wanted to present a gentler more friendly version of the show for their 11th season.

Well what a surprise! The addition of Whoopie Goldberg and Sherri Shepherd is proving to be a little more feisty than not. I personally questioned the hiring of Ms Shepherd who in all of her guest appearances seemed a little out of place with the other members of the show.

Yes she could be engaging and humorous but in a buffoon kind of way. Seemingly sweet but a bit inept. I was miffed at producers and Barbara for sending out this image to America of what a black woman's view is. Of course Sherri cannot be representative of all of black women. Certainly Whoopie whose sheer genius in handling both her co-hostesses and guests, shows a strength and intelligence worthy of exposure and does balance things out.

Still, I think it was the producers who have used Ms Shepherd to portray the chubby, loud and gregarious non threatening ideal of what a black woman should be. Even Whoopie with her non conformist sense of style and beauty appears non threatening to the primarily white female audience. The viewers can admire her intelligence and even fall in love with her without feeling less than because she isn't their idea of attractive. The Oprah effect. The black girl friend who is smart and insightful but you aren't threatened or envious of her looks.

It was obvious that Star Jones was the original Sherri Shepherd role. She was over weight and over bearing at times. She was smart and could be funny, but that bigger than life and bigger body helped the viewers see her either as someone not to take too seriously or more of the mama figure. Once she lost the weight and that image, she was no longer tolerable.

The joke is on Ms Walters and her producers though. Star is doing fabulous with her own Court TV show and I have the feeling the feuding between Whoopie and Sherri is only getting started. Though I am certain that Ms Goldberg will only allow it to go so far on the air.

Whoopie has a dignity about herself and her people that will not share the set with ignorance. And I am not bashing Sherri. She is a good comedic actress. She is a delightful person and she does represent a certain demographic of Americans, just not the demographic watching the View. If she doesn't open herself up to the wisdom of Whoopie I believe the producers are going to experience a tension and discomfort on the set not previously experienced before.

Maybe the joke is on me. The lines between Rosie and Elizabeth were clear and it was easy for the viewers of the show to pick a side. Maybe the producers are smarter than I think and want it to be clearly seen that the stereotype of black women not getting along with one another is true.

Maybe there is no racial consideration here at all. Not overtly intended anyway. Just white folks and black folks acting and reacting as we have been over the history of our relationship with one another. Clearly learned behavior that many times we are unaware we are practicing.

I know I'll be watching The View. If you haven' tuned in, do so and let me know what you think.

That's melavision. What's yours?

It's hump day!
Half way through the work week for those of you doing the 9 to 5. With droughts and wildfires and melting glaciers I think we need to take a good green look at ourselves. Check me out in a few days for my blog on how each of us can help to heal mother earth.

Today I want to talk about a party I went to over the weekend. It was a girls night only party, organized by some sassy 30 something women. It was a great idea and the turn out was very good, however the execution was horrible.

Since I simply adore planning events and have thought about hosting a few of these naughty parties myself, I have a few things to say.

I think it is a good idea to add variety to your monogamous relationship. Whatever works for you is your business. I do believe however that there are definite parameters between what is sexy, fun and sensual and what is vulgar. I gotta little freak in me, so if I think it is vulgar you can bet it is. Ladies please, don't accept anything in the name of being sexy.

If you are 2 to 4 hundred pounds, you really shouldn't wear something skimpy. Men are extremely visual and unless they are really in to rolls and cellulite.....well, you may get disappointed. Now there is sensual lingerie available for the plus size woman ( I ain't hatin' cause in the past 10 years I have turned in to one) but show off your best assets and keep the rest of them covered. Even for you skinny bitches, its cool to leave something for the imagination. Remember soft lighting makes everything look better.

If you are going to purchase toys, yes toys. Unless you have been in the adult film business, don't buy something that looks like a horse! I might add that these things are to keep you sated when your man isn't in the mood, or to help him get in the mood if he's one that likes to watch. Your toy should NOT become your companion. Even if you are single! They can become addictive if you allow it.

Edibles are fun. Lotions, lubricating gels and the such, but you must be clean. Wash before and AFTER if you don't plan on purchasing monistat a day or so later. And it is never okay at the parties to use the same application on all the participants to sample. That's just nasty and one of our hostesses offended this way at the party I attended over the weekend. YUK!

If you are going to host one of these parties for your friends, or charge a fee for extra talent and instructions.....and you sell tickets and send out fliers about all the food and beverages you can eat and drink.....Try catering unless you are a chef or you know you can burn in the kitchen. Make sure your closest friends and family think you can burn in the kitchen too...it just can't be your opinion. I suggest catering, make your guests or patrons excited about attending another one of your functions.

Make sure as the hostess you are ready, set up and greeting your guests at the scheduled time. I have offended with this plenty of times and its so unattractive, not to mention rude. I'm working on that though. Even if it is your girl friends, treat it like your job. If you were hosting an event for your boss, he/she wouldn't allow you to run an hour or two behind so don't do it to the people you love or are taking money from.

Lastly, if you decide to have some male talent available for a little extra fun. Keep it sexy and not raunchy. Make sure you have a discussion with the talent to set your expectations and what is and is not permissible. Unless you are a swinger or a voyeur (which most in attendance won't be) nobody wants to look at someone simulate sex on another woman or have is member in their face, no matter how delectable it may be. Now that is vulgar.

The purpose of these parties is for the ladies who are more adventurous to help those who are more timid to come out of their shells and explore their sexuality. We will never get what we want out of our men if we don't know what we like. It is always good to share tips and secrets about how to get the most pleasure out of your love making, but please don't describe the intimate details of your partners genitalia etc.
If you do, don't be surprised if one of the ladies is giving your guy the goo goo eyes the next time she is over for tea.

Finally, making love is the ultimate gift one can give to another and it is a spiritually binding connection. I know the world might want you to believe that its just animal attraction... But there isn't a woman alive who in her quiet moments, doesn't think about the men she has bedded and wished she had not slept with at least one of them on her short or long list, because he wasn't worthy.


That's melavision. What's yours?

Obsessed With Cheating

Happy Monday readers! Here in drought ridden Georgia I am elated to see some rain. Every little bit helps.

Last night I decided to check out Michael Baisden After Dark and just like the first show I tuned in to, and almost every radio show I tuned in to, he continued to discuss cheating. Why men cheat and why it is women's fault.

First of all, it's a myth that ALL men cheat. There are a lot of men who don't cheat. They don't cheat on their girlfriends, they don't cheat on their wives, they don't cheat on tests or taxes. It simply is not in their character to cheat. I don't know many of these men, but they are out there.

Secondly, I think Mr Baisden is so obsessed with cheating because he cannot figure out why HE cannot stay faithful in a relationship. In order to make himself feel better about his short comings, he wants to pin it on all men and make women to blame for it!

I think it is natural to be attracted to multiple people. God wired us for that. It is necessary for procreation. For instance, if we were only attracted to one person in a life time and our mate experienced an untimely death and there were no children, the surviving mate would be left without the ability to procreate.

So while I believe it is perfectly natural to desire others I don't believe it is unnatural to be monogamous. If promiscuity in humans were natural, even an evolutionist would have to agree that the body should not be susceptible to sexually transmitted disease. Our immune systems should have evolved to the point where we could share multiple partners.

In the animal kingdom there are several species that are totally monogamous, but scientifically speaking, it pays to be promiscuous to continue the existence of the species. Not coincidentally, animals do not contract sexual diseases from one another.

Social environment has played more a role in cheating and promiscuity in humans than biology. We were given that extra something that other species do not have. Free will. The ability to reason. To make decisions. We don't have to act out on our biological receptors.

Cheating is easy. It's lazy. I dare say immature. It is easy to be charming and romantic and spontaneous without responsibilities. Share a mortgage, some children, your dirty stinkin drawers with that other woman. Sooner or later a man will be having those same difficult moments with that clean up woman that he was having with his wife, live in lady.... whatever he calls her.

Michael Baisden declared numbers alone indicate that women have to share. Not so. It is true that women out number men. But you will always have those women and men that choose not to partner in life. Loners for whatever reason. Factor in homosexuality. The many women who are partnering with other women. That still leaves plenty of men available for monogamous relationships and black women especially are trying something new. Dating and partnering outside of their race. Don't believe the hype about numbers.

Monogamous couples can use their natural attraction to others to kick up the romance between themselves. There is no harm in knowing that other people find you sexy and desirable. I believe a little flirting is even good with boundaries. Who wants somebody that nobody else wants? Honestly. Using the knowledge that all the ladies in the room want your man and he is going home with you makes you the baddest bitch in the room! The same goes for men. If all the men in the room want your lady and you are taking her home, must mean you got that whip appeal! There are many ways to use your attraction to others as foreplay for great sex with your exclusive mate. That's another blog on another day.

So while the Mr Baisden's of the world continue to find excuses to cheat, let us men and woman who celebrate and practice monogamy stick together and let our voice be heard.

P.S.
Kudos to Mr George Wilson(on the show) who stood up for monogamous men and why men DONT cheat!

That's melavision. What's yours?

Holiday Planning

I write on the web site called Helium and there was a debate proposed on Christmas. The question was asked whether or not Christians will ever be able to reclaim Christmas as a Christian holiday.

I took some time to ponder this. Like many Christians I am frustrated with the commercialization of Christmas and how it is starting to blend in to all of the other holidays. I mean, people decorate their homes with lights for Halloween now. In fact, last year it was estimated that Americans would spend over 5 billion dollars on Halloween decorations. This figure is second only to Christmas.

So can we reclaim Christmas? I don't think Christians have ever lost the holiday and what we can do to spread the true meaning of Christmas, is to share the love and hope of Christ.

As you plan for this year's holiday season, Thanksgiving and Christmas, I challenge my readers to broaden your vision past your own family and reach out to another family.

This Thanksgiving my immediate family, along with my mother, sister, niece and cousins will select a needy family with the assistance of the counseling department at our local elementary school and provide them with a complete Thanksgiving meal. We will each contribute to a huge basket that will be presented to the family prior to the Thanksgiving school break. Included in the basket will be personal testimonies or words of encouragement with our favorite scripture to share the hope of Christ with the poor.

This Christmas, we will do the same thing along with gifts for all members of the family. In order for it to be a success, we have to start now. We aren't rich people, but we are rich with the love of Christ.

There will be no fan fare. No news coverage. No big posters with toy drives and boxes placed in offices or at doors of grocery stores. It will be just us, a few of Gods children sharing the good news and reason for the season, Jesus Christ!

I believe if every Christian family across the world will do this for another needy family, the hype and stress and elves and Santa's and folks who want to ban Merry Christmas and replace it with happy holidays won't stand a chance!

That's melavision. What's your's?

MR PERRY PLEASE!

Props to Tyler Perry for his latest film effort, "Why Did I Get Married". The girls and I checked it out this weekend and thoroughly enjoyed this movie. Apparently much of America did, as it's topping box office sales at 21.3M!

It was nice to see so many couples in the movie theatre. I was encouraged that men felt they might find something worthy in this film as well. I know I will be taking my man to see it.

In, "Why Did I Get Married", the roles were well defined and believable. If you didn't see yourself in one of the characters you saw someone you knew. The relationships high lighted in this film showed the importance of true friendship. It also gave a real glimpse of how marriages work, and why many fail. I was impressed with the complexity of each marriage relationship and how friendships are challenged among couples.

There were moments when we laughed, cried out in disbelief, shed tears and wanted to rewrite the scene to suit our individual wishes. But Tyler portrayed things how they are not how they should be.

If you are like me, you'll want to go back during the middle of the day while others are at work, so that you can hear all those scenes the other movie goes muted out with their laughter and comments.

It might stir up some uneasy emotions for you, but it is definitely worth the watch, and it just might remind those among the married why they stay in it for the long haul.

THINGS THAT MAKE YA WANNA HOLLAR

Blah Blah Blah Blaaahg

When I first found out about Blogger I was so excited. Finally my passion for writing had found a place where I could express my talent and possibly experience a following. I wrote to family and friends across the country and asked for their support. I got it too!

So why blah blah blaaahg? What makes me wanna hollar? Myself! If anyone out there can help me figure out why it is soooooo difficult to stay motivated let me know. Yeah I have life stresses and things get really overwhelming sometimes. But I bet there are hundreds of thousands of people just like me out there, stressed to their limit but still determined to stay on the grind for their dream.

What makes a winner a winner. Is it as simple as the Nike commercial...."Just do it"?

I wonder.

For all of you out there doin your thing....I have mad respect for you. Whatever it is...the fact that you are going after it is a talent in itself. You go!

So today I am going to try to recommit myself to this again. Practice my art...write.

I am sending off a book to publishing houses that I wrote after 9/11 when my then 3 year old grand daughter asked, what is an American.

I think 6 years later we are hated more across the world than ever and this book is as timely as ever.

It is titled, "American Like Me". The story of a young girl who discovers the beauty and wonder of herself and the diverse neighborhood she lives in.

Wish me luck, send me warm and positive thoughts and pray that I keep trying to just do it!

What's with these kids anyway?

I received a note from my childhood friend today and she was expressing how different the children of today are compared to when we were kids. I never thought I would hear myself saying those 'remember when' words but here I go....

I remember when I would get on my bike and ride four or five miles down a long lonely road pass the monestary and wave at the nuns. I'd turn a corner and slow down to miss the pot holes left in the street from the big rigs that picked up goods from the Pepperidge Farm factory and I would breathe in the sweet aroma of fresh baked bread.

Mom might have wondered where I was but she wasn't worried. I rode my bike....because I could.

On rainy days I sat on my front porch with my girl friend and we played jacks for hours, or put on fashion shows with our paper dolls. We were oblivious to the rest of the world and didn't have a care, save when the rain might stop and whether we would have dinner at her house or mine.

We sat oblivious and care free because...... we could.

On summer evenings before the street lights came on when all the kids in the neighborhood were out, we played red light - green light, simon says, dodge ball, monkey in the middle. We played in the middle of our street while our parents sat out on their front porches and read the newspaper, patted a pet or chatted across fences and bannisters and.....watched us to make sure Joe didn't throw the ball too hard, or I didn't skip someone else's turn.

Right there in the middle of our street.... because we could.

We sat in each other's living rooms and sang hyms and played church, yeah we played church taking turns being the preacher, or we shared records and put on concerts and wrote plays that we performed for our parents and friends. We had the best imaginitation!

We played church because..... our parents took us to church

We sang hyms becuase....we knew them and they made us feel good

We put on concerts because.... we weren't competing we were collaborating

We wrote and performed plays because.....we wanted to be on tv instead of watch tv...because we weren't allowed to watch too much tv anyway and you better not sit too close.

I climbed trees and jumped creeks and drank from dirty faucets and I didn't catch any diseases. We played hop scotch and jumped rope and sometimes I would go to the school yard and practice my shot or play tennis up against the school wall all by myself.

Because....I could.

We didn't want to be bored and we didn't expect our parents to keep us entertained.....it never crossed our minds.

We walked to the deli, and the grocery store and to the newspaper shop or the butcher and we picked up prescriptions and a lottery ticket for our parents or neighbors and nobody ever had to count the amount of pills in the bottle and we wouldn't dare play the numbers ourselves.

We sold seeds door to door to earn prizes, we sold lemonade or frozen cups of kool ade or ran errands for our neighbors to earn money.

Because....we could.

Our neighbors knew our names and who our parents were and our phone number and address and so did the local police man and mail man and store clerk. They were all looking out for us and looking out at us too. If we did something wrong we knew we were going to get a whack on the behind from somebody's mama or grandmom or at least our own mom when those people looking out called our house.

So when I ask what's with these kids anyway....

They can't ride a bike or play in the middle of the street, even if its a cal de sac.

Somebody isn't going to want their peace disturbed or finely manicured lawn to get trampled on or their teen age son isn't going to slow down when the ball runs in front of his Lexus. He might even speed up and sneer when he barely misses smashing into some small child, tickled with himself that he gave the little bastard a scare.

A long lonely road is surely a ticket to "fame" on a "missing photo" post card or on the bulletin board at your local Walmart.

The front porch is gone and we have all retreated to decks and sun rooms hidden behind the privacy fences of our back yards. We don't know our neighbors name or phone number and probably barely speak when we pass each other on the street.

My kid can't play with your kid unless I know where you work, how much money you make and what your political affiliation is. If you go to church you can't be one of those fanatics talking about God all the time and if you don't go you better be mowing the lawn or doing home improvements or on the golf course or doing some weekend thing other than relaxing around your house reading the newspaper and looking at your kids for God's sake!

What's with these kids? They don't have much imagination because they are playing on the computer or their hand held game or watching tv for hours where everything is fast paced and in their face and they don't have to think much about whats going on.

Everything is sarcastic and violent and mean is funny. Copycat criminals invade our communities and our children's minds, where exploration of nature, a hike in a park or following a creek through the neighborhood might put them in certain danger.

We are too afraid to say no to the wrong things and not be the cool parents or we are just too damned tired ourselves from the long commute and the endless schedules of soccer and dance and football and baseball and cheerleading and karate and all those other competetive things that let you know that my kid is just as good as yours if not better and even if we don't ever eat dinner at the table together or have a conversation they are being socialized and learning how to be a force to be reckoned with in this world.

If we aren't getting suckered in to the overscheduled life we are getting sucked in to reality tv and music tv and the glamorous life and we don't feel like teaching simon says or red light green light or watching a skit, we need to get our nails done or our weave sewn in or find out which girl the batchelor is going to choose or who is going to win the million dollars. When those whiny little voices get on our nerves long enough we give in and buy the new video game or drop them at the mall to shop or pay for them to go to the movies, the amusement park, out to eat with friends anything to get them to leave us alone!

What's with these kids? Us!

Its not too late to stop the madness. Its okay not to be their friend. Its even more okay to say no. Your cool days are over. Shock! It's past time to turn off the tv sets and the radio in the car and learn how to talk again. Its also okay to tell your kids the difference between child abuse and good spanking and whack that ass and make them aware of the consequences of crying wolf and let them deal with the consequences. It really is up to us.

Some developers are realizing the importance of community as people grow weary of the long drive to and from work and the economy isn't as bright and it makes less and less sense to try to keep up with the Diddy's and the Hiltons and be glad to just be a Jones! They are building communities with retail centers and business centers and multi-market homes. This takes us back to a place in time where you lived and worked in your community and a kid, could be a kid.

When it's all said and done, will we really care how many days Paris spent in jail or who our favorite character on the soaps was sleeping with or what star took over The Price is Right? All that will matter is our kids, our friends and our family......who we loved and how we loved.

Do something radical this week! Knock on your neighbor's door and invite them and their kids out to a good ole game of dodge ball. If you can't do it in the middle of the street then offer your perfectly manicured back yard or front lawn. Gasp! And watch this infectious love for your kids and community grow!

That's melavision. What's yours?

Owning Your Truth
No Matter How Ugly It Is

I went bonkers yesterday...yes really bonkers. I am taking some regular meds and missed a few doses and then took something else to make me feel better and it back fired in the worse kind of way. I am a huge advocate of psycho-therapy and medicine. I think everyone needs at least one therapy session in life, whether with a qualified pastor, or some licensed mental health professional. We all have issues and it takes great courage to face them. Most people spend most of their lives running from them.

Anyhow, I wanted to write to say that there is also a great responsibility after seeking treatment to follow your plan as closely as possible. I would rather not take medicine. I don't like it, I never have. There is something very unnatural about it to me. But when told I must, I do. However, I forget to take them a lot....whether it be blood pressure, anxiety(I am a big worrier) or vitamins....I miss doses. I think I avoid them. It means admitting that something is not working right in me and I don't like admitting that.

Well I learned a great lesson yesterday. When you hear about celebrities like Gerald Levert, Anna Nicole and Elvis just to name a few; accidentally overdosing on prescription drugs we are like, yeah right. When you hear of people getting in to trouble doing crazy things and they say it was a side effect from their medicine....again...yeah sure it was.

Well yesterday I was one of those people and I hurt someone I love very much. I stomped on her dreams and mocked her and solicited others to do the same. I am ashamed of that. And so I have been doing some soul searching today.

I realized a few things.

You don't muck around with your medicine. I felt like crap for three days and was not like myself at all. I was doing and saying things and wondering why I was doing and saying them. I was extremely irritable and overwhelmed and angry. I was dizzy and nauseas and had a hard time staying awake. I was moody and surly and I couldn't get it together. Just like a person who is extremely drunk...they know they are drunk, they know they are doing things they should not, they kinda care but not really, and when they try to pull it together, they can't, the alcohol has taken over mind and body. Again, you cannot play around with prescription drugs.

I also realized that I needed to find out where the uglies that I pounded on my loved one came from. I couldn't just blame the medicine. Just like a drunk man speaks a sober heart, the scripture tells us out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. So I examined what is in my heart.

Too much T.V. junk......The Peoples Court, Divorce Court, Judge Judy, Judge Alex, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Mathis, Judge Christina..... people bickering and fighting and being rude and ugly to each other all day long. Not to mention a plethora of other competitive shows where feuding and plotting against each other are par for the course.

Hurt....Someone else close to me really hurt my feelings last week and I was baffled by it, angry about it, tucked it away, got over it....so I thought. I had been rejected and so I transferred that rejection on to her.

Fear.... There are risks I want to take, Leaps I want to jump, things I want to do...but solicitude's grip is paralyzing......so I think I had a little haterade going on. (thanks Dee for making me own up to this one)

And so with a mucked up mind, it opened the uglies that I pretend are not in my heart. I transferred that hurt I felt from one sister and battered the other with my anger over it, (the source of all anger is hurt), I analyzed and politicized and litigated like a judge...one of the mean ones, and I let my fears turn in to hate. I want to be the best, she looks up to me...what if she does better than me? I'm talking about what I want to do and she's doing what she wants to do. Where does she get off? How dare she!

The scripture says if you have offended a brother or sister, go to that brother or sister and ask for forgiveness.

So Andrea, this is my public apology and plea for forgiveness. You have been nothing but supportive, a great cheerleader in my corner. You tenaciously go after your dreams and if one doesn't pan out you reinvent yourself and go for another. That is admirable, not condemnable.

I told you to charge it to my head and not my heart. Well I was wrong. My head was foggy, but it was my heart that needed repair.

The word of God also tells us the truth shall set you free. By facing my ugly truth I am free today and filling my heart up on better food.

Got a nasty mouth? Examine your heart.

That's melavision. What's yours?

P.S. Special thanks to my daughter Deidre, my cousin Cleo and my niece Jenny for encouraging me to take a deeper look. Love Ya'll!

Graduation

Greetings to all my readers. This Father's Day, my mind is on our recent graduates. Not to diminish the importance all our father's have had in our lives, certainly many of the best of our grads have had the steady hand and firm support of a loving dad. To my own father Donald, I love you and wish the miles did not separate us on this occasion.

I have sat through many graduations and just within the past few weeks was blessed to watch another young life close one door and move slowly forward to her future. Our graduation tears, like those shed at weddings, baptisms and christenings, recitals and all of the other special moments captured in time; for those of us cheering on,are full of conflicting emotions.

We cry not only for the joy of accomplishment, but for the knowing only those of us who have lived long enough to realize, that with each step forward, a loss of innocence and a road of bumps and dangerous curves lie ahead. We see in our graduates a former self, bright, energetic, naive and ready to conquer the world. A tender heart, timid and unsure, but trustfully moving forward, believing if they fall, someone will be there to catch them. A charismatic personality eagerly anticipating freedom and fun filled days ahead.

We cry because we know, with joy comes inevitable sorrow. A dream deferred, some unexpected turn. A challenge we fail. A blossoming and passionate love, lost. We also cry assured in the tenacity we know they will have to prevail, to overcome the challenges. The same tenacity that guided them to this convocation. Some will even transcend their expectations and our own.

A gateway to the unknown is waiting and what we do know for sure, is that it all happens too fast. The time flees like a visit from a bumble bee that stops briefly to pollinate a nearby flower, only to dart away when noticed. It leaves the sweet nectar of life behind while vanishing into the air.

Yet, there is great joy in watching our children grow and aspire to big dreams and ideals. And with the hope of brighter tomorrows we envision them successful, content and changing the world around them. We believe in a wholesomeness deposited in every man to excel and do good for others. We reflect on the tools we gave them that led them to this honorable march, a path they tread alone for a moment, shining in glory, filled with pride and we wait with bated breath until their name is called.

And then we exhale. This part, a job well done.

May all of their tomorrows be filled with the same excitement and sense of accomplishment and may God continue to bless us with His infinite wisdom to help them along the way.

Congratulations to the Graduates of 2007
Stephanie Daniels
Stacia Harris
Rikkita Hooks
Willie Murphy III
Kayla Valentine

The Treasure of Lost Love

Back in 2000, a group of girlfriends and I were revisiting our past and talking about childhood loves. As we sat there reminiscing about these boys, I noticed the bright smiles and the way their eyes lit up. Some of us had given our virginity to these guys while others loves were completely innocent....well maybe not completely, but the big V was still in tact. The common factor was that these young men loved us all shamelessly. They were proud to have us as their girl, they were kind, gentle, appreciative. They went out of their way to show us how much we meant to them.

All of us were married to different men than those of our early years and it was a bittersweet moment as many of us realized that tender love of yesteryear was unrealized in our current situation. We weren't even sure if it was possible.

One of my girlfriends in particular was in a love-less marriage. She was with a man who not only didn't appreciate her, but was emotionally abusive. A user of women in general, he showed neither discretion nor concern towards my friend.

A religious woman, she had spent many years on her knees praying for change. I was so taken aback by the shear joy in her face when she talked about her first love, I wanted to know more. Later we shared more details one on one, and I realized she was still in love with this person.

This was heavy in my heart for days, even weeks. As if an angel flew from heaven and spoke clearly to me, I was certain they would be together again. When I told my friend of this revelation she laughed. Many many years had passed. She knew where her first love was, ran into mutual child hood friends occasionally, knew he was not healthy. She was married, he had a significant woman in his life. She made sure whenever she visited her home town that their paths would not cross. Yet, I somehow knew her heart was longing for him and his for her.


Over the years, I watched as prayer for change, turned in to condemnation. It was as if my friend felt that she was being punished for disobedience and rebellion as an adolescent. Her abusive relationship was her penance. I rejected that notion and soon offered that she might want to pray for faith to let go and move on with her life. No one was holding her where she was,(in her marriage) especially not God. Love does endure all things, but without love, God is not in the midst. Her husband did not love her, probably never did and if I had my information right, she never truly loved him either.

So we prayed together. My marriage has its own set of issues, most of them do. And a little over a year ago, circumstances beyond her control began to move things in a different direction. Before I knew it, she was divorced. Hooray! Praise the Lord! .....and what do you know, instead of avoiding running in to her first love on a trip back to her home town, she allowed herself to check in on him.

A year later I am profoundly delighted to say she is now married and happier than I have ever known her to be! The love she has adorned on her new husband, her first love, has dramatically improved his health. They are like kids again!

According to research, 3/4 of couples reunited with early life loves, stay together. Less than 2% of those that marry end in divorce. Comparably, second marriages to new lovers almost always end in divorce within 5 years.


So what is it about these early lost loves? I believe when we first experience love, it is with that person who sees you for your true self. You meet during a period of your life when you have not yet become blemished with the cares of the world, yet your core values have been formed. Your values and lifestyle are already known to each other and you are either drawn together because of them, whether it be through school, church or the neighborhood you live in - or you esteem to have the values and lifestyle that you see the other possesses.


In previous generations, like mine, material things like what kind of car you drove and how large of a home you lived in were less important. So, we were able to like a person for their humor, or intellect or athletic prowess or even as simple as their great smile.


If you happened to not have such great parents, your neighbors parented you and young people had the chance to get to know each other without judgment. All of these elements offered the ability to form true intimate relationships. The kind of the heart. When your hearts connect,that is a very powerful thing. I can't help but to also mention that the early physical attraction and chemistry of puberty, usually draws you to a real sexual match as well. So everything clicks.


There is no pretense. Nothing is forced. There are no hidden agendas. Amazingly, when people do reunite after many years, they don't see the lines starting to form in the face, or the weight gain or the hair loss. They just see that friend that was there during a time in their life when things were getting a little scary. No longer a little child but not quite a grown up. Too tall or too skinny, acne or one huge pimple right on the center of our nose, chubby or short, too slow for the track team, or clumsy for football, not popular enough for cheer-leading. Our heads were too big for our small frame or our nose was too big for our small head or our ears just stood out too far. All confused and insecure, awkward, finding our way, building our self confidence, knowing who we are but trying to figure out what we want to be.....and they liked us anyway.


What a treasure.


Warning, before you go looking....you must be available and make sure he/she is available too before you contact. The worse thing is to find that treasure again only to have to leave it in the bottom of the sea because you know it doesn't belong to you.


For Mrs. Allen....good for you girl....good for you!


That's melavision. What's yours?

Friends & Haters

Last night I went to a fight party at a girlfriends place. She and I have been friends for 14 years. When we met I was going through a hard time and she made me feel so valued. She didn't judge me, and no matter what drama was going on with me, she was right there by my side. Over the years we have drifted apart now and then, but we never let it go too long or allow ourselves to get too busy before we reconnect. I love her.

She is a beautiful lady, inside and out. A native New Orlean, she has a gift for entertaining and getting the fullness out of life. Always a joy to be around. She expects nothing less than the best and she gives it and gets it. She does not apologize for living well and expecting to be treated well. I admire her for that.

Anway, she is in a really great relationship with a wealthy man and he lives in a lavish home in a private country club the likes of which you would see on MTV cribs. Because I am her friend, I am thrilled for her. She is living the life she imagined to live. It is great to see. The wonderful thing about her is that whatever her state of being she shares her fortune with others. The consumate hostess, she has not given up her old friends for newer richer ones, and includes us as often as possible to experience the finer things of life.

I am quite comfortable with that and enjoy those special times with her. What I have noticed though is that some of her "friends" have turned in to haters. Even some of her closest, have disappeared or competed against her over the years. Each time she opens the door to another friend to come and partake, it is common for them to want to tour the house. I have walked along on many tours, usually with a guest I have bought along or with a mutual friend/colleague of ours. What I have noticed is the jealousy among some individuals over the splendor of the home. They make snide comments along the way, whether it be that she left her curling iron out on the bathroom counter, or they aren't feeling the decor, to insinuating that owning such a dwelling is selfish and over indulgent. These are the haters. People whose own dreams and desires were cut short for whatever reason and are irritated by the success of others.

The scripture tells us we should rejoice with those who rejoice(Romans 12:15). You see when someone you love gets blessed, you get blessed. It is a blessing to see your folk happy, doing well, living well. I am rejoicing with ya girl and for your guy too!

And for you haters out there....as long as you are still breathing you can still dream. You may never own the mansion, but you are capable of living fully. Let go of envy and embrace others good fortune. The great thing about dreams is that they can change and they do change. Become a lucid dreamer and change your vision!

That's melavision. What's yours?

Weekend WoooSaaah

Okay, I had my opportunity to vent yesterday
and get all that yuk out of my system.

Don Imus story....wooosaaah
Sanjaya....woooosaaah
Partial Birth Abortion...wooosaaah
Killing sprees and war......wooosaaah
Taxes......wooosaaah
Whatever got on your last damn nerve this week.......Wooosaaah!

So let's get busy with enjoying life!

For my readers in the ATL, feel like a little romance? I think there are still tickets available for the Keith Sweat and Johnny Gill concert at the Civic Center Saturday. Just don't think about all the rumors regarding Johnny and Eddie Murphy. Not feeling that old school romantic vibe? Check out the Atlanta Film Festival ongoing at Landmark's Midtown Art Cinema. Want to spend some time out in the beautiful Spring weather, I suggest Earth Day:Party in the Park at Atlantic Station, Saturday night 7-10pm...Live music, silent auction, food and tips for living green!

Back up the road in suburban Philly, Center City Gallery Night..TONIGHT and guess what its free! Admission, food and drink on the house, special exhibitions and cocktail reception from 5-8pm. Check out gophila.com for more information. Want some out of the ordinary excitement, how about the family helicopter rides at Brandywine Airport, Saturday at 11am, 35.00. Ad a little spirits to your weekend by visting the Chaddsford Winery for tours of the cellars and wine making, tasting and walking the grounds. You are in for some lovely weather so enjoy!

My Callie family, maybe a little theater at the California Theatre of the Performing Arts Phantom of the Opera, now showing on West 5th Street, contact ticket master for more info, or take a ride over to Big Bear Lake and enjoy the beautiful San Bernadino National Forrest. Maybe just a leisurely browse through the Downtown Farmers Market in Riverside is more your speed.

For the rest of my readers, check out your local events calendar on line, there's always something going on to stimulate your mind, relax your body and spend quality time with your family.

And to all, gettin your praise on never hurts either!
Worship services are in your neighborhood!

Whatever you do, have a Wooosaaah Weekend!

Love and Blessings.

That's melavision. What's yours?

Sticks and Stones

What a week since last post. I just need to exhale. Don Imus, the Duke rape case, Dannielynn, the ban on partial birth abortion, Sanjaya is booted off, and the tragic killings at Virginia Tech.

When I was a child we used to chant "sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me." A nice concept, but nonetheless untrue. I am amazed at the degradation of our wonderful country and the feeling we all share (wrongly, I might add) that there is nothing we can do about it.

• It seems people were shocked at the overtly racist remarks Don Imus made regarding the Rutgers womens basketball team.

The Tennessee girls, "They all look cute, you know."... "That's some nappy headed ho's there." - regarding Rutgers. Don Imus, MSNBC Don Imus in the morning show.

I wasn't shocked. Racism and sexism is still very much alive in America and this guy seems full of it. He has been an equal opportunity offender of many races and groups of people. This was not the first time he said racists things and I betcha he is calling black folks all kinds of unflattering words these days... behind closed doors. Our constitution says he has the right to, and I agree. But I applaud the advertisers, television and radio networks who decided not to pay him to do it.

What saddened me was the rage from so many white Americans over his firing. Not since the O.J. case have I witnessed such venom from the eyes of those we've come to think of as friends,....our co-workers, television personalities that we enjoy watching, news anchors and neighbors.

How dare black people stick up for themselves! Hip hop artists call us bitches and ho's so why can't everyone else? Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson have each said and done reprehensible things themselves, so how dare they rally to these women's defense.

Ironically, the teams are both primarily black and if you switched their jersey's around, I'd be willing to bet Don wouldn't know the difference.

• And Lord have mercy, just when you think, great, thank you America for sticking up for the black girls....the case against the Duke boys gets dropped. There was no evidence to support the young woman was raped. I don't think anyone is mad at that. We do not want innocent people going to jail for crimes they did not commit. But that venom again...woo...it was like vindication for Don....see they are nappy headed ho's!

• Then the baby daddy drama with poor little Dannielynn, the daughter of Anna Nicole Smith. Another stripper, porn model and actress. Blond hair blue eyes, deified in her death. There was something I liked about Anna and I felt really bad for her, and short of being sewed by Howard K Stern for defamation, I knew when her son died she would be gone shortly after. But for her death and the paternity of her baby girl to be the head line in the news for over two months! Exhale. Let's just hope for Dannielynn's sake, Larry proves to be a good father.

• What can we say about Virginia Tech. So much grief. I saw the big red VT sign for the first time just a few weeks ago while traveling interstate 81through the beautiful blue ridge mountains. It struck me that this was an awesome place to build an university and how much the students there much enjoy their surroundings. Never would I imagined the horror that would take place weeks later. My heart and prayers go out to the families of the victims and the family of the disturbed young man who perpetrated this heinous act.

• Sanjaya. Good looking mild mannered teen aged boy whom American Idol producers and judges thought was good enough to make the top 24 and then suddenly started to dis him when he grew a fan base. Sanjaya was voted off yesterday after weeks of enduring scrutiny and down right meanness. He is not the worst singer the show has ever had. His delightful personality began to blossom during the show amidst all of the negativity and he does have a nice voice. There are less gifted artists selling number one hits after studio engineering and marketing executives polish the package. I said it before, one of the lowest of lows this season of AI, and I am extremely disappointed in their unabashed attack on this young person.

• The ban on partial-birth abortion. 1973 Roe vs Wade, the Supreme Courts decision to uphold the right for a woman's privacy to abort a fetus up until the point the fetus is deemed viable to survive outside of the woman's womb. This right has been debated continuously over the years and no doubt this new decision begins a new fervor of angst and divide among Americans.

Partial birth abortion is a gruesome procedure to remove a fetus, usually in the second and third trimester of gestation, by inducing labor and extracting the fetus breach(legs first). In most cases, the fetus' arms and legs are dismembered while the head remains in the vaginal cavity and then the back of the skull is fractured and the brains of the fetus vacuumed out. The procedure is not graphically explained to the women seeking such abortions and in my opinion is nothing short of murder. There are too many readily available birth control options today, to use this barbaric procedure as a method to eliminate unwanted pregnancy.

I believe it should be an option for women who are at risk of death if they proceed with the pregnancy. I also think it should be available to terminate the pregnancies of those fetus whose lives will not be viable once born. Such as those with lethal birth defects. Even then there must be a more humane way to end those lives with some dignity.

Sticks and stones.....what are we learning now about ourselves? Words do hurt us, they take joyous and honorable moments and scathe them with controversy and divide, words meant to give freedom and rights to us are twisted and turned and lobbied to make it easy for a mentally disturbed individual to purchase guns and go on a killing spree...words turn innocent young girls to find value as strippers, confusing lust for love and perversion for admiration.

What are we saying about ourselves when we are glad that young men have escaped rape charges but we find nothing wrong with those men placing an order for women to come and dance naked at a party, while they taunt them and call them names and suggest a broom stick might make the party a little more enjoyable.

Sticks and stones.....we watch as people throw them at each other and become more concerned with who fathered a baby who could inherit millions than what clandestine meetings and shredded paper and lost emails are happening in our nation's capital......and names....seemingly intelligent people, t-v personalities, radio show hosts and yes bloggers, jump on the mean wagon and tear apart a young man with words we may never know how deeply hurt his soul.

Stay tuned for more tomorrow....

Until then,
That's melavision. What's yours?

For Every Thing...There is a Season

Wow, it seems so long since I last posted....February...eons ago(smile). I have been quite a busy lady and now we are in the bloom of Spring. Unseasonably cold, but never the less Spring! As I swallow up the sunshine in my sunroom and recooperate from the past few weeks momentus occasions, I think about the seasons of our lives.

The week of March 25th, I mourned the loss of my dear paternal uncle, John Crabb Sr. and celebrated the birth and life of my maternal grandmother Helen Nelson. I remember the week before vividly, Tuesday, March 20th. It was around the noon hour when I had a sudden urge to pray for Uncle Johnny. I knew he was suffering and that hospice had been taking care of him and preparing him for his imminent death. As I began to pray for him, my own spirit was lifted, because though I could not be by his side physically, I knew I was saying my own good-bye spiritually. I prayed for peace in his heart and mind, rest for his body, strength for the family to let him go, forgiveness for his sins, mercy and for the Lord to welcome his spirit and to embrace him. I asked for a fear free transition and whatever he, Uncle Johnny, may need to pass on.

The next night I was working feverishly on a celebration keepsake for my grandmother's 100th birthday party. The event was a little over a week away and I needed to get the booklet finished for print. I committed myself to stay up all night if necessary. Around 12:20a.m. I grew extremely weary and resolved myself to go to bed. Though I wanted to continue my task, it was indeed a labor of love, my body said 'rest'. When the phone rang shortly after 6a.m. I knew Uncle Johnny had passed away. I was told he passed at 12:30 a.m. I did not weep, and I was not grief stricken, for I knew he was leaving that week and I had prayed my good-bye. Instead, I thought back of fond memories and my heart went to my cousins John and Johnita, my dad and his siblings and Billy a son recently introduced to the family. And then I thought about the great celebration I was organizing for my grandmother and how awesome life is.

I drove home to PA for Uncle Johnny's funeral services and we celebrated his life. I saw cousins I had not seen in years and we hugged and kissed. I held on to his twin Joanie and my dad, Donald. I looked around at the family there and thought about how special each and every one of us are, how glad I am to have them in my life.

Johnita and I shared an embrace after I viewed the body and there were no words necessary, the love between cousins, daughters of brothers, understanding her pain and knowing I too one day will experience the same, and she will comfort me.

The next day I shopped for decorations and picked up linens and arranged tables and chairs and went over final details for Helen's celebration. I had labored long and hard and there were highs and lows in the planning process. I was nervous and excited and worried all at the same time. Family were arriving from across the country and the mayor was going to pay special tribute and the senator and the news paper was coming and I wanted it all to go perfectly. My family and I had planned a great tribute and I had taken on most of coordination.

Saturday morning my niece Jennifer and I joined hands and we prayed. And the celebration was beautiful. Grandmom was overwhelmed with the outpouring of affection towards her. I hugged cousins I had just met, and shook hands with dignitaries and smiled as the great grands served the elders their meal. I watched my own children, so thankful they were participating and sharing this experience with me.

I rubbed the backs of my mother and my cousins as they welled up with emotion thinking about the life of our dear matriarch and what she means to us all. We shared poems and songs and favorite memories. It was officially Helen Nelson day and she received the key to the city. We all reveled in her magesty and felt grateful for her legacy of love for family and church.

I fought back my own tears as different members of the family came to thank me for the hard work and the execution of the program. I did cry when my beloved friend and dearest cousin Danisa took the mic to give me accolades. I didn't want them, didn't need them....I was happy to help create such a cherished memory for the family. And as I looked at each of them, all colors and shades and sizes and shapes and social class....I thought, what a beautiful blessed people we are. Special, each and every one of us. So glad to have them in my life.

The seasons of life. In one week I shared unspeakable joy and sorrow and the common denominator was love. Love that lasts 100 years and into eternity.

When winter comes and days are short, the nights long and cold
Lonely hearts mourn those long gone while couples spoon
Those prepared, warm their bellies with hot food and take shelter
from their labor
and rest
We grow tired of the grey and the bare trees and dry earth...and then
Like rain from heaven we are renewed with the dew of spring
We plant our gardens and our flowers and go about getting out
Days a little longer, time to visit friends and walk in the sunshine
We take in the aroma of new life
Then summer finds us busy, sweating and socializing and running to
Cooler places and sipping iced drinks and we cook outside on grills
And do the electric slide at family reunions and revel...
in the fullness of life
Until the brisk air of the fall calls us to gather again and prepare for another winter
Spending time with family over the holidays and filling up on love
Love.... enough..... for every season

Celebrate your life and those you love by loving the ones you love every day.

That's melavision. What's yours?
Ecc 3:1-8
1 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:2 a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot,3 a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build,4 a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain,6 a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away,7 a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak,8 a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.

FORGIVENESS

I used to think that forgiving someone meant that no matter what terrible thing had been done to me, I wouldn't hold it against them. Yesterday, while watching Oprah's follow up on "The Secret", I realized just how wrong I was.

Today I feel like a new person! Rev. Dr. Michael Beckwith and Philosopher James Ray were guests on the Oprah show and as they talked and shared with the audience, I was reconnected with the spiritual principles I had previously learned, as well as truths I have always known.

I often wondered why after I had forgiven someone, I still felt angry. Though I had committed not to hold the violation against them, I still relived it often in my mind, with the same level of hurt and condemnation as when it first happened. Until yesterday.

Now I understand that forgiveness includes thanking those persons(yeah thanking them) for giving you the experiences that allow you to know yourself better. To realize your strengths and increase them. To face your weaknesses and improve on them.

Once you stop feeling like a victim you can take ownership of your life! You can look back, even if it was just yesterday and find your truth in the situation. Knowledge to assist you in living better, wiser, fully. Most times when we have been done a wrong, we put something negative out there that received a negative response. Sometimes of course the response is far more horrible than what you sent out, however it was indeed a reaction to your actions. Haters are out there, we all know that and you don't have to do anything but shine to get them to conspire to harm you, & there are circumstances when heinous things are done to us that we had nothing to do with at all. Like when a child is molested...they had no role in that what so ever. But they can learn about their individual power from it later.

These opportunities to forgive, show us who we are, how we react to challenges, difficult moments, even abominations. And then we can decide whether we want to find our power, or give it away. It's up to you. You can relinquish it, leave it in a sea of negativity, or you can not be afraid of it(your power, your oneness with God), harness it, rise with it, live richly!

So for all of those who have hurt me, lied on me, beat me, abused me, stole from me, disrespected me, thrown obstacles in my way.....thank you for giving me the experiences. I know my power now, and I am on my way!

..but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. (Luke 7:47)

That's melavision. What's yours?

SIGNS & WONDERS

I spent some time this past week tending to my mother while she underwent cataract surgery. As I waited in her hospital room, I pondered the miracle taking place down the long corridor. I felt no sense of trepidation or doubt. As the minutes passed, I left briefly for a cup of coffee and a bagel from the cafeteria on the ground level. When I returned I watched the Today Show until I dozed off into a restful sleep. Again, no worries. My faith was in the hands that guided the hands.

I was awaken by a presence that was gentle yet authoritative and opened my eyes to see mom's physician, Dr. Menon, a diminutive Indian woman with precise fingers and a charming spirit. She advised that the surgery went very well and gave instructions for mothers post operative care. She thanked me for being there and walked toward the door. As if urged, she turned to me and said, "You know your mother is one of my favorite patients. She is such a sweet lady."(A lover of God) She gave me a broad and knowing smile and I smiled back while giving my gratitude. I thought back to the previous surgery and remembered her prayers for my mother. The doctors trust in God was genuine.

Several hours later after getting mom back home, she took off the protective shield covering her eye. Her face lit up as she looked out the kitchen window and around to the family room. She told me in great detail the clarity and new beauty she was experiencing looking at every day things. My mother was looking through both eyes, now fitted with artificial lens.

"Verily verily, I say unto you, He that believeth on me, the works that I do he shall do also, and greater works than these shall he do because I go unto my Father."
John 14:12

So many people today, believers & unbelievers look for signs and wonders. They want to hear a trumpet in the sky and a thundering voice. People ask, why aren't the things that happened in the Bible still happening today? I boldly say to you that they are happening right under your face.

I believe when Jesus said the above words in John he was talking about a little girl named Akiane born to atheist and spoken to by God who paints through her hands and spreads His love on canvas. Who by this gift has saved her parents and given them a charge on life. Jesus was talking about Dr. Menon, and Dr. Ben Carson, Oprah Winfrey and Bill Gates, Oseola McCarty and all of the many regular people who have touched and changed the lives of others.

The lame walk and the deaf hear, the blind see. The hungry are fed and monstrous men change their hearts. There are prosthetics now that are connected directly to the brain and moved with thought. We talk to one another across the globe on phones that are connected to the air. We travel from state to state and country to country in a manner of hours. Automobiles talk to us and tell us which way to go and call on assistance if we drive into a ditch.

Hot water, warm showers, air conditioning in the sweltering heat and heat in the bitter cold. The sound of children laughing lightens our burdens and makes us smile even while war is on our television sets. A new born baby can make us be still and stare in awe and we feel peace and goodness and virtue. A hug from a friend, an unexpected card in the mail, a favorite song. Signs and wonders we are all too busy to see.

Close your eyes and think about it, you're just one miracle away from the wonder.

That's melavision. What's yours?

Redefining Beauty

As the awards season in Hollywood is upon us, I started reflecting on what beauty is today. With all of our modern technology, computer generated images and plastic surgery, the world is redefining beauty in ways that deceive us, discriminate against and deny the true majesty and wonder of the human body.

More and more our televisions, theater screens and media prints are disseminating visions of women that all look alike. Be it White, Black or Latino, the symmetry of the eyes, the width and length of the nose, the color and shape of the teeth, fullness of the lips, the texture and hue of the hair, the size of the breasts and slenderness of the hip, the copper golden glow of the skin and the roundness of the bottom are all starting to meld in to one image.

What is this image saying to our young girls and us women? How do we look in to the mirror and value our selves as we compare the reflection to those we are presented with as beautiful, acceptable, indeed lovable?

I applaud Dove for their campaign for real beauty. They are challenging Hollywood and the advertising industry and each of us to honor our true selves, our real likeness to the one who created us.

Deception is very simply, evil.

The author of deception is the enemy, satan, the devil, the power of darkness...whatever you want to call him. The scripture John 10:10 tells us "The thief comes not, but for to steal, and kill and destroy".

The Greek word for deceive is planaho, which according to Strong's dictionary means "cause to roam from safety, virtue or truth, go astray, seduce, wander and be out of the way". Are we not being led away from the safety of loving self, seduced by false images, wandering aimlessly for an unachievable likeness?

This new definition of beauty is Stealing our Children, Killing our Diversified Uniqueness & Destroying our Self Esteem.

Love Your Hips & Curves
Love Your Thin or Broad Nose
Love Your Soft Swollen Thighs
Love Your Brown Blue or Green Eyes
Love Your Thick Thin or Kinky Hair
Love Your Style No Matter What You Wear
Love Your Dark Pale Brown or Pink Skin
Love the Body You are In

Help me salute Dove and watch this video:
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.ca/film_fullscreen_evo.html

American Idol....Disappointing

I have been a big American Idol fan since its debut. Though it lost some interest for me and I did not watch the season Carrie Underwood won, I came back last season to check it out again. I was so impressed with the talent last season that I was really looking forward to season six.

I know that many people enjoy the first few weeks of absolutely hideous auditions. And I must admit that in seasons past, I have enjoyed a few guffaws at the contestants expense myself. However I was already beginning to feel this pre-show circus act was a little played out. Though I really wasn't interested in watching until the real competition begins, I did. What I saw last night was unforgivable.

Its one thing to poke a little fun at someone who is tone deaf. I can get a cheap laugh from a contestant who is delusional and obnoxious. But humiliating persons who are obviously mentally challenged is just mean. There is absolutely no humor in watching a mildly retarded or functionally autistic person get their feelings crushed, or stare blankly ahead totally confused.

I especially find it distasteful knowing what I do about the audition process. A friend of my daughter's auditioned a few years ago. She alleged that there are a series of auditions one must go through before they ever get the opportunity to go before Simon, Randy and Paula. These initial auditions are performed for the producers of the show. According to my source, it is apparent that they are looking for the absolute worst singers to fill these first few weeks of the show, and that some very good talent is passed over(yes she was one of the them). I am inclined to believe her because some of her statements have been echoed by previous contestants on the show.

I imagine that there are certain looks, personality types, and genre strength that the producers have decided will compose the best possible entertainment, long before the auditions even begin. No matter how well you might sing, if you don't fit the cast of characters they are looking for you won't get passed through to the judges. One fellow this season was given the golden ticket to Hollywood on this, his third attempt and first time before the judges.

I think America is becoming too hard hearted and it is a frightening realization. When we find violence, misogyny and now the humiliation of the least of our peoples entertaining....(certainly we must, because last nights show had the highest ratings ever).....it is time to be afraid. We all should be feeling uncomfortable. I hope at least some of us are, because discomfort is a motivator for change.

That's melavision. What's yours?

Emptying the Nest

There aren't too many things harder for a mother than when her children leave the nest. Whether they jump out on their own or if you have to push them, it hurts. Despite all of the books on raising children, every family is unique and there really isn't a perfect plan. Mistakes are bound to be made and no matter how hard you try, kids are going to make their own way.

I think the most difficult time in a parents life is when their children are teenagers. It is excruciating. I believe mother's need to be home with the kids then more than ever. During those crucial years we really give our kids the tools they need to move on to adult living. Provided we give them the attention, encouragement and tough love they need, the road ahead can go smoother. When you work, it is inevitable that your attention will be torn, as well as your energy.

Many times we as parents get caught up in the mistakes we made along the way, especially during those crucial years and we want to make right for all of our wrongs. We get overwhelmed with guilt. We want desperately for our kids to know how much we love them. Sometimes in this process we overindulge, we turn a blind eye, we make excuses and we frantically scurry about trying to please them, even when those teen years are over.

I've been there. And nothing more freeing than forgiving yourself. Let go of your mistakes. You did the best you could do with the tools you had, your combined experiences. You do better as you learn better. Your children will not understand your choices or your decisions until they cross that path on their own journey of parenthood. Some may still hold on to your mistakes, and try to hold you hostage to them. I am here to tell you, don't let them. Find your peace and pray for theirs.

The worst thing we can do is to keep them in the nest too long or let them tarry when they return. Their wings don't develop and may even get weaker. Their eyesight gets narrow. Their belly's are never full enough. They just keep wanting more and more. They may even grow to resent you, because instinctively they know they cannot fly unless you let them go.

So, Let them go. Trust God to watch over them. Have faith in your prayers for them. Keep believing for the best for them. Give them a nudge, be it gentle or aggressive. Suck up your pain, look away for a moment if you must, and even if they fight back...push, push......push....and watch them fly.

That's melavision. What's yours?