Redefining Beauty

As the awards season in Hollywood is upon us, I started reflecting on what beauty is today. With all of our modern technology, computer generated images and plastic surgery, the world is redefining beauty in ways that deceive us, discriminate against and deny the true majesty and wonder of the human body.

More and more our televisions, theater screens and media prints are disseminating visions of women that all look alike. Be it White, Black or Latino, the symmetry of the eyes, the width and length of the nose, the color and shape of the teeth, fullness of the lips, the texture and hue of the hair, the size of the breasts and slenderness of the hip, the copper golden glow of the skin and the roundness of the bottom are all starting to meld in to one image.

What is this image saying to our young girls and us women? How do we look in to the mirror and value our selves as we compare the reflection to those we are presented with as beautiful, acceptable, indeed lovable?

I applaud Dove for their campaign for real beauty. They are challenging Hollywood and the advertising industry and each of us to honor our true selves, our real likeness to the one who created us.

Deception is very simply, evil.

The author of deception is the enemy, satan, the devil, the power of darkness...whatever you want to call him. The scripture John 10:10 tells us "The thief comes not, but for to steal, and kill and destroy".

The Greek word for deceive is planaho, which according to Strong's dictionary means "cause to roam from safety, virtue or truth, go astray, seduce, wander and be out of the way". Are we not being led away from the safety of loving self, seduced by false images, wandering aimlessly for an unachievable likeness?

This new definition of beauty is Stealing our Children, Killing our Diversified Uniqueness & Destroying our Self Esteem.

Love Your Hips & Curves
Love Your Thin or Broad Nose
Love Your Soft Swollen Thighs
Love Your Brown Blue or Green Eyes
Love Your Thick Thin or Kinky Hair
Love Your Style No Matter What You Wear
Love Your Dark Pale Brown or Pink Skin
Love the Body You are In

Help me salute Dove and watch this video:
http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.ca/film_fullscreen_evo.html

American Idol....Disappointing

I have been a big American Idol fan since its debut. Though it lost some interest for me and I did not watch the season Carrie Underwood won, I came back last season to check it out again. I was so impressed with the talent last season that I was really looking forward to season six.

I know that many people enjoy the first few weeks of absolutely hideous auditions. And I must admit that in seasons past, I have enjoyed a few guffaws at the contestants expense myself. However I was already beginning to feel this pre-show circus act was a little played out. Though I really wasn't interested in watching until the real competition begins, I did. What I saw last night was unforgivable.

Its one thing to poke a little fun at someone who is tone deaf. I can get a cheap laugh from a contestant who is delusional and obnoxious. But humiliating persons who are obviously mentally challenged is just mean. There is absolutely no humor in watching a mildly retarded or functionally autistic person get their feelings crushed, or stare blankly ahead totally confused.

I especially find it distasteful knowing what I do about the audition process. A friend of my daughter's auditioned a few years ago. She alleged that there are a series of auditions one must go through before they ever get the opportunity to go before Simon, Randy and Paula. These initial auditions are performed for the producers of the show. According to my source, it is apparent that they are looking for the absolute worst singers to fill these first few weeks of the show, and that some very good talent is passed over(yes she was one of the them). I am inclined to believe her because some of her statements have been echoed by previous contestants on the show.

I imagine that there are certain looks, personality types, and genre strength that the producers have decided will compose the best possible entertainment, long before the auditions even begin. No matter how well you might sing, if you don't fit the cast of characters they are looking for you won't get passed through to the judges. One fellow this season was given the golden ticket to Hollywood on this, his third attempt and first time before the judges.

I think America is becoming too hard hearted and it is a frightening realization. When we find violence, misogyny and now the humiliation of the least of our peoples entertaining....(certainly we must, because last nights show had the highest ratings ever).....it is time to be afraid. We all should be feeling uncomfortable. I hope at least some of us are, because discomfort is a motivator for change.

That's melavision. What's yours?

Emptying the Nest

There aren't too many things harder for a mother than when her children leave the nest. Whether they jump out on their own or if you have to push them, it hurts. Despite all of the books on raising children, every family is unique and there really isn't a perfect plan. Mistakes are bound to be made and no matter how hard you try, kids are going to make their own way.

I think the most difficult time in a parents life is when their children are teenagers. It is excruciating. I believe mother's need to be home with the kids then more than ever. During those crucial years we really give our kids the tools they need to move on to adult living. Provided we give them the attention, encouragement and tough love they need, the road ahead can go smoother. When you work, it is inevitable that your attention will be torn, as well as your energy.

Many times we as parents get caught up in the mistakes we made along the way, especially during those crucial years and we want to make right for all of our wrongs. We get overwhelmed with guilt. We want desperately for our kids to know how much we love them. Sometimes in this process we overindulge, we turn a blind eye, we make excuses and we frantically scurry about trying to please them, even when those teen years are over.

I've been there. And nothing more freeing than forgiving yourself. Let go of your mistakes. You did the best you could do with the tools you had, your combined experiences. You do better as you learn better. Your children will not understand your choices or your decisions until they cross that path on their own journey of parenthood. Some may still hold on to your mistakes, and try to hold you hostage to them. I am here to tell you, don't let them. Find your peace and pray for theirs.

The worst thing we can do is to keep them in the nest too long or let them tarry when they return. Their wings don't develop and may even get weaker. Their eyesight gets narrow. Their belly's are never full enough. They just keep wanting more and more. They may even grow to resent you, because instinctively they know they cannot fly unless you let them go.

So, Let them go. Trust God to watch over them. Have faith in your prayers for them. Keep believing for the best for them. Give them a nudge, be it gentle or aggressive. Suck up your pain, look away for a moment if you must, and even if they fight back...push, push......push....and watch them fly.

That's melavision. What's yours?

Thoughts on the New Year

Happy New Year to all of my readers and thanks for the support and encouragement! Today is the 4th of January and as I reflect on things past and look forward to things to come, I have a bevy of random thoughts passing through my mind.

Like, I love women but I hate ho's. Women are sisters, girlfriends, confidants. They take care of their children and their husbands and they volunteer at church or in the school or somewhere else in the community. Women keep their families together and make their house or apartment or loft feel comfy and warm or elegant or romantic. Women honor their mamas and their daddies and their children and themselves and especially each other.
But ho's.....oh those ho's. Ho's dress themselves up in clothes in previous times relegated to hookers and while they spend their money on trips to the nail salon and get their hair oh so unbeweavable, their little girls and little boys walk around with raggedy clothes, nappy or tangled hair and broken down shoes. Ho's call their mamas bitches. They embarrass their kids when they come to the parent teacher conference at school. They will do your man and my man and anybody else's man to get a bill paid, or their grass cut or a dime bag or some snow(not the kind that falls from the sky) or just some sexual maintenance. A ho can be confronted by a wife or a girlfriend and lie with a smirk on their face or even brag about what your man is doing for them and with them. A ho will come to church and sit on the front pew in a mini skirt without panties and flash the preacher! Been thinking about some ho's I have come in contact with over the past several years and like I said, I love women but I hate ho's.

Another thing I was thinking about was what a bitch I used to be when I was skinny. I think I am going to start a regular weekly post on that....I used to be a skinny bitch, and everyone else who used to be one too can post how awful they used to be, how much they miss it, and what a nice person being fat has turned us in to! Stay tuned...

Speaking of fat, what is the deal with Rosie O'Donnell and Donald Trump. Is this guy a creep or what? I am no huge Rosie fan, although I must admit that even though I vowed I would never watch the View again after the distasteful way things went down with Star Jones, I do tune in almost every day to see what outrageous things will be said and what bickering will happen between the co-hostesses. And yes Rosie has a big mouth and can be awfully obnoxious sometimes but I know I can be sometimes too(obnoxious) but I mean well and I know that I am a good person, just need to shut up sometimes, so I have a little sympathy for her....just a little. But the attack that Trump went on against her was just ridiculous. Speaking of ho's....what an attention ho he is!

I know you're probably thinking what happened to the spiritual God loving MissMel of recent weeks....still here...that is just the complex and wonderful creation I am......smile
And I think that is what most of us seeking God are....real people, with real issues, real things that make us just want to scream, real prejudices, flaws, lusts wants and everything else human....only some of us don't pretend to be perfect and don't expect to be.

So back to my venting. I had an acquaintance in the news this week for leaving two children unattended over the Christmas holiday and one of these poor kids fell in to a diabetic coma. I could not believe that I knew this person, entertained them in my home, fed them and welcomed them back and now he is on action news at 6! It made me think about how well we really know people, even the ones we live with.

Like why the heck did my husband die his hair strawberry blond last night? ( Love you baby) I mean I was on the web looking up the top ten signs your spouse is cheating, male mid life crisis and men on the down low...... I am hoping he is the middle....realizing at this new year that he is getting older and trying to cover up those gray hairs sprouting up on top of his head. To his defense he did not realize the hair color in our bathroom cabinet was going to change his natural sandy brown hair to strawberry blond and is quite horrified! I am pretty certain that since marrying at the ripe age of 19 and both of us failing to remain totally committed over the years that those days are in the past(better be) and every time I caught him cheating before it was with a woman so I can't blame it on the down low either...smile(again....love you baby...don't be mad at me for sharing)....and if you are wondering why I would share, its because we survived it and we still love each other, and my hope is that my journey will help you on yours.

And finally my random thoughts skirted around to family today. I had a wonderful lunch with my oldest daughter, a wonderful Christmas with family and friends and have been keeping the grands over the Christmas break. As my 19 month old grandson took an almost terrible twos tantrum in my living room floor yesterday and I was almost at the point of exasperation, my niece and her beau stopped by scooped up the kids to give me a break and I took a nice long nap. I had a relaxing evening and when I woke up this morning, I thought about how terrifically blessed I am to have the people I have in my life, the unconditional and completely unashamed love we share for one another and the comfort of knowing as I embark on another year they will be with me all the way. Love them love them love them!

As you take time to peruse your own random thoughts, smell your roses whatever they be and look forward to your best year. As pastor TD Jakes has once said, " You haven't lived your best day yet!"

That's melavision. What's yours?