What's with these kids anyway?

I received a note from my childhood friend today and she was expressing how different the children of today are compared to when we were kids. I never thought I would hear myself saying those 'remember when' words but here I go....

I remember when I would get on my bike and ride four or five miles down a long lonely road pass the monestary and wave at the nuns. I'd turn a corner and slow down to miss the pot holes left in the street from the big rigs that picked up goods from the Pepperidge Farm factory and I would breathe in the sweet aroma of fresh baked bread.

Mom might have wondered where I was but she wasn't worried. I rode my bike....because I could.

On rainy days I sat on my front porch with my girl friend and we played jacks for hours, or put on fashion shows with our paper dolls. We were oblivious to the rest of the world and didn't have a care, save when the rain might stop and whether we would have dinner at her house or mine.

We sat oblivious and care free because...... we could.

On summer evenings before the street lights came on when all the kids in the neighborhood were out, we played red light - green light, simon says, dodge ball, monkey in the middle. We played in the middle of our street while our parents sat out on their front porches and read the newspaper, patted a pet or chatted across fences and bannisters and.....watched us to make sure Joe didn't throw the ball too hard, or I didn't skip someone else's turn.

Right there in the middle of our street.... because we could.

We sat in each other's living rooms and sang hyms and played church, yeah we played church taking turns being the preacher, or we shared records and put on concerts and wrote plays that we performed for our parents and friends. We had the best imaginitation!

We played church because..... our parents took us to church

We sang hyms becuase....we knew them and they made us feel good

We put on concerts because.... we weren't competing we were collaborating

We wrote and performed plays because.....we wanted to be on tv instead of watch tv...because we weren't allowed to watch too much tv anyway and you better not sit too close.

I climbed trees and jumped creeks and drank from dirty faucets and I didn't catch any diseases. We played hop scotch and jumped rope and sometimes I would go to the school yard and practice my shot or play tennis up against the school wall all by myself.

Because....I could.

We didn't want to be bored and we didn't expect our parents to keep us entertained.....it never crossed our minds.

We walked to the deli, and the grocery store and to the newspaper shop or the butcher and we picked up prescriptions and a lottery ticket for our parents or neighbors and nobody ever had to count the amount of pills in the bottle and we wouldn't dare play the numbers ourselves.

We sold seeds door to door to earn prizes, we sold lemonade or frozen cups of kool ade or ran errands for our neighbors to earn money.

Because....we could.

Our neighbors knew our names and who our parents were and our phone number and address and so did the local police man and mail man and store clerk. They were all looking out for us and looking out at us too. If we did something wrong we knew we were going to get a whack on the behind from somebody's mama or grandmom or at least our own mom when those people looking out called our house.

So when I ask what's with these kids anyway....

They can't ride a bike or play in the middle of the street, even if its a cal de sac.

Somebody isn't going to want their peace disturbed or finely manicured lawn to get trampled on or their teen age son isn't going to slow down when the ball runs in front of his Lexus. He might even speed up and sneer when he barely misses smashing into some small child, tickled with himself that he gave the little bastard a scare.

A long lonely road is surely a ticket to "fame" on a "missing photo" post card or on the bulletin board at your local Walmart.

The front porch is gone and we have all retreated to decks and sun rooms hidden behind the privacy fences of our back yards. We don't know our neighbors name or phone number and probably barely speak when we pass each other on the street.

My kid can't play with your kid unless I know where you work, how much money you make and what your political affiliation is. If you go to church you can't be one of those fanatics talking about God all the time and if you don't go you better be mowing the lawn or doing home improvements or on the golf course or doing some weekend thing other than relaxing around your house reading the newspaper and looking at your kids for God's sake!

What's with these kids? They don't have much imagination because they are playing on the computer or their hand held game or watching tv for hours where everything is fast paced and in their face and they don't have to think much about whats going on.

Everything is sarcastic and violent and mean is funny. Copycat criminals invade our communities and our children's minds, where exploration of nature, a hike in a park or following a creek through the neighborhood might put them in certain danger.

We are too afraid to say no to the wrong things and not be the cool parents or we are just too damned tired ourselves from the long commute and the endless schedules of soccer and dance and football and baseball and cheerleading and karate and all those other competetive things that let you know that my kid is just as good as yours if not better and even if we don't ever eat dinner at the table together or have a conversation they are being socialized and learning how to be a force to be reckoned with in this world.

If we aren't getting suckered in to the overscheduled life we are getting sucked in to reality tv and music tv and the glamorous life and we don't feel like teaching simon says or red light green light or watching a skit, we need to get our nails done or our weave sewn in or find out which girl the batchelor is going to choose or who is going to win the million dollars. When those whiny little voices get on our nerves long enough we give in and buy the new video game or drop them at the mall to shop or pay for them to go to the movies, the amusement park, out to eat with friends anything to get them to leave us alone!

What's with these kids? Us!

Its not too late to stop the madness. Its okay not to be their friend. Its even more okay to say no. Your cool days are over. Shock! It's past time to turn off the tv sets and the radio in the car and learn how to talk again. Its also okay to tell your kids the difference between child abuse and good spanking and whack that ass and make them aware of the consequences of crying wolf and let them deal with the consequences. It really is up to us.

Some developers are realizing the importance of community as people grow weary of the long drive to and from work and the economy isn't as bright and it makes less and less sense to try to keep up with the Diddy's and the Hiltons and be glad to just be a Jones! They are building communities with retail centers and business centers and multi-market homes. This takes us back to a place in time where you lived and worked in your community and a kid, could be a kid.

When it's all said and done, will we really care how many days Paris spent in jail or who our favorite character on the soaps was sleeping with or what star took over The Price is Right? All that will matter is our kids, our friends and our family......who we loved and how we loved.

Do something radical this week! Knock on your neighbor's door and invite them and their kids out to a good ole game of dodge ball. If you can't do it in the middle of the street then offer your perfectly manicured back yard or front lawn. Gasp! And watch this infectious love for your kids and community grow!

That's melavision. What's yours?