Emptying the Nest

There aren't too many things harder for a mother than when her children leave the nest. Whether they jump out on their own or if you have to push them, it hurts. Despite all of the books on raising children, every family is unique and there really isn't a perfect plan. Mistakes are bound to be made and no matter how hard you try, kids are going to make their own way.

I think the most difficult time in a parents life is when their children are teenagers. It is excruciating. I believe mother's need to be home with the kids then more than ever. During those crucial years we really give our kids the tools they need to move on to adult living. Provided we give them the attention, encouragement and tough love they need, the road ahead can go smoother. When you work, it is inevitable that your attention will be torn, as well as your energy.

Many times we as parents get caught up in the mistakes we made along the way, especially during those crucial years and we want to make right for all of our wrongs. We get overwhelmed with guilt. We want desperately for our kids to know how much we love them. Sometimes in this process we overindulge, we turn a blind eye, we make excuses and we frantically scurry about trying to please them, even when those teen years are over.

I've been there. And nothing more freeing than forgiving yourself. Let go of your mistakes. You did the best you could do with the tools you had, your combined experiences. You do better as you learn better. Your children will not understand your choices or your decisions until they cross that path on their own journey of parenthood. Some may still hold on to your mistakes, and try to hold you hostage to them. I am here to tell you, don't let them. Find your peace and pray for theirs.

The worst thing we can do is to keep them in the nest too long or let them tarry when they return. Their wings don't develop and may even get weaker. Their eyesight gets narrow. Their belly's are never full enough. They just keep wanting more and more. They may even grow to resent you, because instinctively they know they cannot fly unless you let them go.

So, Let them go. Trust God to watch over them. Have faith in your prayers for them. Keep believing for the best for them. Give them a nudge, be it gentle or aggressive. Suck up your pain, look away for a moment if you must, and even if they fight back...push, push......push....and watch them fly.

That's melavision. What's yours?